Wobbling

This is "that week."  This is when normally I would have just quietly let myself drift back into old bad habits.

I worked hard this week and made sacrifices in social settings despite longing to dig into the food like everyone else -- yet didn't get the results I felt I deserved.  I'm solo parenting this week while my husband is off visiting an exciting city, I'm on my period, the weather is yucky, and the basement is leaking rainwater.  Sigh.  I crave relaxing into the easy fix of rewarding or consoling myself with food.

I've been at this almost two months -- long enough that it doesn't feel exciting anymore.  Also, despite consistently losing every week, I'm not far enough in to see much of a difference.  People dear to me also chose new healthy tracks recently and, although I truly am happy for them, they are getting bigger results in less time.

Time to stop and think.

Disappointment, envy, worry, and impatience.  Name the emotions.  Look at them with an impartial eye even if they embarrass me.  They are part of me and part of this journey.

Today I went to my Weight Watchers meeting and left feeling encouraged again.  The camaraderie truly helps.  I'm not alone.  And glancing back over my food record, I know that I'm not just eating low-calorie fluff for the sake of numbers on a scale. I've been eating very well, so I know my body has the nutrition it needs.  I'm also exercising enough to build muscle.  Even if it is slow, I know I picked the right path for me.

I'm not giving up.