Navigating Easter

Ugh.  The lure of chocolate eggs and marshmallow bunnies.

We traveled over Easter, spending time in two households and a hotel.  There was even a big Easter party with friends -- that included a pot luck and lots of Easter basket treats.  At first I did pretty well, but by sunset on Easter I had to admit that my little snacks, nibbles, and taste tests added up to quite a bit.  I really should have tracked my Weight Watchers points; that honesty would have helped me stay on a more even keel despite declaring it a splurge day.  The next day was my meeting and weigh-in.  For the first time since joining in February, I was up instead of down.  It was only a half pound gained, but it was demoralizing.  For a couple of days I skidded and spun, craving sugar like crazy.  I've had sugar all along, but only in isolated bits and after a meal.  I also splurged and had several Diet Dr. Peppers.

It was kind of miserable, really.  I badly wanted sugary, carb-laden, over-processed foods but at the very same time I knew that they weren't satisfying me.  I'd eat one thing and immediately want another.  I gritted my teeth and stopped the treats cold turkey.  After two days of eating well and good exercise, I felt normal again.  And the scale is dropping again.

Whew!

I don't want to go back there again.  I think those sugary treats are almost always going to have to be isolated, separated by good food so they don't become a downward spiral.  And any sort of smugness I felt about these changes being permanent is gone.  I'm going to be careful.

Still Here!

I've been doing Weight Watchers for nine weeks.  This past week I lost 3.6 pounds, bringing my total to just under 15.  I'm thrilled that I've lost every week, but I have to be honest that right now it feels like such slow progress.  I'm down a dress size but still don't see a very big difference.  That said, I'm finding WW easy to follow and feeling great -- a lot more energy but also steady and consistent energy all day.  And where I'm seeing a very big difference is in my thought patterns.  A sugar hound most of my life, I'm finding it easier to ignore now.  I'm finding it easier to decide rationally which foods are worth eating and which aren't.  I'm going to keep on keepin' on!

Wobbling

This is "that week."  This is when normally I would have just quietly let myself drift back into old bad habits.

I worked hard this week and made sacrifices in social settings despite longing to dig into the food like everyone else -- yet didn't get the results I felt I deserved.  I'm solo parenting this week while my husband is off visiting an exciting city, I'm on my period, the weather is yucky, and the basement is leaking rainwater.  Sigh.  I crave relaxing into the easy fix of rewarding or consoling myself with food.

I've been at this almost two months -- long enough that it doesn't feel exciting anymore.  Also, despite consistently losing every week, I'm not far enough in to see much of a difference.  People dear to me also chose new healthy tracks recently and, although I truly am happy for them, they are getting bigger results in less time.

Time to stop and think.

Disappointment, envy, worry, and impatience.  Name the emotions.  Look at them with an impartial eye even if they embarrass me.  They are part of me and part of this journey.

Today I went to my Weight Watchers meeting and left feeling encouraged again.  The camaraderie truly helps.  I'm not alone.  And glancing back over my food record, I know that I'm not just eating low-calorie fluff for the sake of numbers on a scale. I've been eating very well, so I know my body has the nutrition it needs.  I'm also exercising enough to build muscle.  Even if it is slow, I know I picked the right path for me.

I'm not giving up.

All Clear!

Just wanted to share that the word came back from the doctor regarding my extensive mammgram.  All clear!  I'm feeling very grateful indeed.  And I lost 1.6 pounds according to my Weight Watchers weigh-in on Monday.