Organizing Healthy Recipes

I would like weight loss to be quick and easy. But that's not what the Persistent Elephant project is about. Instead, I know I have to get my brain organized first. I have to know my reasons for getting healthy and my goals. Next, I have to break down those goals into reasonable steps and find ways to stay motivated. I also have to get my life organized. That includes making regular time for exercise and arranging my life in such a way that being healthy is easy to do. That's why I spent time making a shopping list of healthy staples to take to the store each time and also why I made a list of healthy snacks that I pinned to the inside of my pantry door. Healthy meals are also a cornerstone, so this summer I took the time to organize my recipes. Now, even when I have a toddler clinging to my knees, I can flip through my recipes for good ideas, find healthy recipes with on-hand ingredients, and get cooking.

My mom always had a metal box full of handwritten recipe cards, but that just doesn't work for me. I want something larger so I can print recipes from my computer or save pages from Cooking Light magazine. For me, three-ring binders and plastic sheet protectors are the way to go.  I can wipe away spatters and shuffle recipes easily.

  

One of the things I love about sheet protectors is that you can slide in blank paper as a background, so even tiny recipes fit well.  (See that little blue oval below?  That's a sticker from a spaghetti squash that gives cooking directions.)  The background paper also makes it easy to add notes.  I love adding notes to my recipes -- tips for making it turn out right, spice variations, serving suggestions, etc.  I believe that making notes has made me a much better cook than I would be otherwise because I remember what I've learned.

  

I take the time to type my favorite recipes into my laptop so I can always have my best recipes with me when I travel.  This way I also have backup copies of those recipes and can share them easily with friends.  The online folders for the recipe files on my computer match the headings I put on my binders.  That helps me find things quickly and easily.  Staples office supply store now offers index pages for three ring binders with movable plastic tabs that can be placed either on the sides or on top.  I find putting tabs on top makes it much quicker and easier to find my way inside my binders.

In case you are curious, here is a closer look so you can see my headings.  The beauty of the binder system, though, is that I can easily change things.  For instance, I'm trying to pay more attention to the glycemic index when I cook, which means serving more protein.  The number of chicken and turkey recipes is climbing, so I'll probably make a "poultry" section soon.

I have an awful lot of cookbooks, but I realize I only use a small handful of them.  I keep The Complete Cooking Light Cookbook, The Joy of Cooking, and a few others close at hand.  With the other cookbooks, I find that if I take the time to photocopy the best recipes and add them to my binders, I use those recipes a lot more.

How do you keep your recipes organized?

Meditating

So I’ve been meditating. I’ve tried it before, but never more than about three days in a row. I always tried doing it in the morning, but I’d either be too sleepy or too rushed. Soon I’d forget all about doing it. My Persistent Elephant get-healthy blog effort, however, has me looking at all the pieces that go into health and permanent weight loss. When I wrote a “weight loss autobiography,” it became clear to me that one of my big patterns is gaining during periods of stress. If I want to lose weight and keep it off, thoughtful stress management has got to be part of my life.

I did some poking around on the web and in bookstores about stress management. In the last few years, meditation has become quite mainstream in the Western world – at least in terms of recommendations by many doctors and other conventional health practitioners. What did I have to lose? I picked up The Quiet Mind: A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation. This book outlines six different mediation practices as described by six reputable Buddhist teachers. Editor Susan Piver is an author I know and trust from other books and articles. The small volume is easy to read, and a few weeks ago I started meditating for ten minutes a day while E is napping. It isn’t always easy. My ankle starts to itch and my back starts to ache a little. My mind is always wandering off. Yet there is something very peaceful and restorative about it. I feel better when I’m done. And sometimes it is eerie how fast those ten minutes fly by; fleeting thoughts about timing drift through my mind and I figure I’m maybe five minutes in, but then the kitchen timer starts beeping.

I decided I liked meditation well enough to stick with it. By the time E wakes up, I know I’ve had a solid ten minutes of pure peace, which makes me more patient. Then earlier this week I found myself in a temporarily stressful situation. It was close to E’s naptime and he was revved up from playing with two other little boys all morning. He was trying to talk to me, but another adult – a very longwinded one – was talking to me at the same time. All three boys were zipping around making noise. The house was a shambles from tot play and the adult I was talking to kept elaborating on a complex issue and asking my advice, yet she never stopped long enough to let me voice my ideas. I found myself trying to remember what I wanted to say while soothing my child and gathering E’s things. Normally in such a situation, I’d be trying to talk myself through it. I’d be reminding myself to stay cool and take it slow. This time, I didn’t hear my own voice scolding me to be patient. Instead, I felt myself pulling back a little emotionally. I realized I’d instinctively just stood up a little straighter and took a few deep breaths. I can’t quite articulate it, but it almost felt like the room got a tiny bit larger so that I could back up enough to see the whole situation. Instantly, I knew this came from practicing meditation. The feeling was the same as sitting cross-legged on the carpet while counting breaths.

It’s like this… Say you speedwalk regularly for fun and exercise. Then one day during your workday you find yourself needing to hurriedly catch a taxi. Even though you’re in dressy clothes on a busy city sidewalk, your body has the cardio strength for slipping into a faster pace plus your walking stride is already comfortable. Because of regular exercise, your heart and muscles are ready to help you. Earlier this week during that stressful moment, the equivalent happened in my brain. Because I’d been practicing being quiet and objective, I was able to fall into that “brain stride” in a very different setting and situation. Man, it was beautiful. I haven’t missed any days meditating since because now I get it. Now I see how meditation helps not just during or right after, bringing a momentary sense of peace and release from stress, but also brings far-reaching help!

I think I'm hooked. And that's a very good thing.

Mental Benefits of Being Active

Yesterday a friend sent me a supportive message, cheering me on with the Persistent Elephant project. Oh, many many thanks, AM! One of my favorite parts about her message was this reminder...


“When I started exercising, it was all about the physical aspect: how many WW (Weight Watchers) points I was earning so I could eat "extra"/more food.  Sometimes it's still about that. But now it's almost as much for the mental benefits as the physical: I solve problems, prioritize things, and generally sort things out when I walk. And sometimes I just think, letting my thoughts go wherever they go.”

The Shadow Lady

I’m walking four to five mornings a week around my hilly neighborhood now.  I walk fast and go for about 45 minutes at a time, trying to stay in my target heart rate.  Nowadays, I often have to walk when my son is with his nanny two mornings a week.  By the time I hit the sidewalk, the sun is already high.

I use pretty much the same route every day, passing the same houses and views but also seeing some of the same people whose routines overlap with mine.  There’s the dad always dropping off his baby at the neighborhood daycare center.  There’s the retired gent who hoses out his garage every morning and then blows it dry with his leaf blower!  

And then there’s the Shadow Lady.  That’s the name I gave her in my head.  She’s a fellow walker, although much thinner than I am.  And she dresses differently than I do.  Much differently, for she is completely covered.  I wear shorts and tee shirt to exercise, but she wears black, full-length spandex pants, a black long-sleeved turtleneck shirt, black gloves, a wide-brimmed hat, and sunglasses.  I have no idea what race she is because her face is covered in thick white zinc sunscreen like a circus clown.  Yeah, it’s a little spooky.  And although we’ve exchanged waves, we’ve never stopped to talk so I don’t know what the outfit is really about.  But it seems clear to me that the get-up is about sun protection rather than any sort of style or costume.  For that reason, I’ve come to admire her.  There are a thousand excuses not to exercise and I would think that being hypersensitive to the sun would be a big one.  (Some genetic disorders or medications can cause such a problem.)  Yet this lady proactively found clothing and gear that would work for her, then hit the walking trail.  Next time I feel lazy, I’m going to think of her!

Who or what inspires you?

Putting the Brakes on Diet Soda

The healthiest times in my life have also been the times when I haven't been drinking diet sodas.  It's not that an occasional diet drink is incompatible with being healthy.  In fact, I don't plan to give them up completely.  But I admit that during my soda-adoring days, my focus was short term -- getting a likable taste and having a treat without drinking calories.  When I mindfully consider the matter, however, I have to admit that sipping chemicals on a regular basis doesn't really jibe with my move towards being healthier.

I'm suspicious of overprocessed foods in general and artificial sweeteners in particular.  I grew up at a time when saccharine was the low-calorie sweetener of choice then watched as it was elbowed out of the way by NutraSweet (aspartame) and Splenda but also as it fell from grace with the FDA.  The FDA eventually lifted the warning from saccharine because they say the tumors in rats caused by the substance aren't seen in humans, but I've never really trusted artificial sweeteners since.  Curious what studies now say about all three sweeteners, I did some poking around on the web.  Like so many things, it is easy to find scary warnings -- even some disquieting ones from reputable sources.  I know, though, that it would be very difficult to be a sane person participating fully in society while steering clear of all additives and preservatives.  So I'll just do my best to keep them at a minimal level.  Early this summer I gave up buying Diet Dr. Pepper at the grocery store.  Adios to the IBC diet root beer and Yoplait Light dessert yogurts too.  Now I've started ordering water when I eat out.  My goal is to get diet sodas down to once or twice a month.

(Click here for an article about the link between diet sodas, weight gain, and diabetes.)

But what to drink instead?

I used to be an herb tea fan, loving peppermint and chamomile.  Recently I pulled out my tea bags and remember just how much I like a cup.  My friends tease me that it is dishwater because I drink it quite weak and without sweetener, but to me it is like water with a little kick.  Lately, I've pulled out my little green teapot and a pretty teacup on some evenings, but I crave that peaceful ritual most often in cold-weather months.  Thus I wandered around Homegoods until I found a small glass pitcher with a handle and lid.  I make peppermint tea and chill it for whenever I want a summertime break from plain water.

Mostly, I just drink water all day and organic skim milk with meals.  With the water, I had a hard time remembering to drink enough when I used a regular glass.  I have to keep open cups out of Eli's reach, so it was always up on a countertop.  Then I tried one of those stainless steel water bottles, but the top was a little unwieldy.  Although I was hoping to avoid using plastics too much with food and drink, I fell in love with the new cups that admittedly look like a fast food cup.  They don't spill if they fall over, they are insulated, the big opening makes it easy to clean or add ice, I can see at a glance how much drink I've got left, and for some dumb reason I drink a lot more water if there is a straw involved.  Hey, it is BPA free and I don't let water sit in there too long.

Between the herbal iced tea and my straw cup, I'm drinking a lot more water these days.  What about you?  What are your tricks for getting enough water?

Will

It's not the will to win, but the

will to prepare to win that

makes a difference

Pinterest

I'm reading along through my old journals.  I'm ever-so-thankful that I wrote them!  I'm a little stunned about how much I'd forgotten.  Actually, I remembered most of the bits and pieces about how I lost weight before, but by reading back I have a much better sense of how the pieces came together, worked together.

One thing I've realized is that my weight loss was partially due to the fact that I was pulling myself forward towards something good rather than pushing away from something bad.  My brother-in-law, a family doctor who helps a lot of patients with their weight, says that motivation is key and there are two forms -- the stick or the carrot.  When I have been in "yo-yo diet mode," it was usually because I hated the way I looked and yearned to ditch that feeling.  That's the stick.  I was whacking myself over the head to try to change.  When I lost the weight beginning in 1996, it was because I loved the idea of getting healthy.  Just like a carrot danged in front of a horse, I moved steadily forward because I kept finding ways to envision (and later appreciate) the rewards of a healthier life.  In particular, I started buying magazines and the clothing catalogs didn't just go from mailbox to recycling bin anymore.  There's a danger in looking at stick-skinny models photographed in ideal conditions and then airbrushed to perfection, but I generally avoided magazines and catalogs that did that.  The reputable magazines also offered health information and healthy recipes.

Now that it is 2011, I found a new fun way to get all the fun of magazines without having to put up with those stinky perfume ads.  Pinterest!

The Pinterest website (pin + interest) is a way to "pin up" interesting or inspiring images as you surf the web.  At present you have to go to the website and request to join, but it is free and easy.  There is usually a lull of a few hours before you receive your invitation to join.  Afterwards, you can create multiple personal bulletin boards to "pin" items you are interested in, saving pictures with a short description but also the link so you can visit the page again.  (Thus you can save the picture of a new dish to cook then click on it to get back to the actual recipe.)  I created a bulletin board called "Glad Rags" to save images of clothing I like.  I've pretty much been wearing the same clothes since Eli was born and I have very few things I feel truly good in.  There are few clothing stores for larger women and I'm not that excited about most of the mainstream styles in them right now.  But by looking at clothes on the web and saving a bank of images, I'm getting inspired to lose weight and buy new clothes again.  I also have a "Culinary Adventures" bulletin board where I squirrel away healthy recipes, cooking ideas, and food information.

Pinterest helps you save things you come across on the web, but it also allows you to look at other people's bulletin boards.  There is a tab marked "Everything" where you can see a constant stream of photos, articles, recipes, etc. that others are pinning.  (Warning:  There are a lot of yummy looking dessert pictures going past!)  If you see something you like, you can repin it to one of your boards.  I found one woman who kept pinning wonderful "how-to" picture-taking guides, so I became a follower of her board dedicated to photography.  I can see all the items she pins to that board.  Similarly, there are other people on Pinterest who created boards dedicated to healthy recipes, exercise, specific sports, inspiring images, etc.  When you find a board curated by a kindred spirit who shares your dreams, tastes, or interests, it can be very rewarding.

There are tons of time wasters available on the web.  I'm not knocking burning a little time with the Angry Birds or Farmville game; they can be a great escape and challenge your brain.  Sometimes, though, online games or social sites really do just suck up time.  I find that, for me, Pinterest has a lot of redeeming value.  I'll jump on late in the evening when I'm tired and might otherwise do something mindless.  But after looking at beautiful images and saving some neat ideas, I wind up feeling positive and creative.  I've found some great inspiration.

Where do you find inspiration?

?

I heard recently that one of the most important questions you can continually ask yourself is "What do I need?"


                                         What do you need?

Towards a 2011 Get-Healthy List

Last time I posted a list of the one-at-a-time changes I made in 1996 to get healthy.  A decade and a half later, sixteen of the twenty-eight changes are still part of my life to a satisfactory degree.  Yeah, I wish I’d held on to all twenty-eight.  Still, sixteen healthy habits are a lot more than yo-yo dieting ever did for me.  More importantly, those fifteen years are water under the bridge.  Looking to the past so I can thump myself over the head for my lapses isn’t going to help.  Looking to the past to remember what worked for me and then rework it for my current lifestyle IS helping.

Right now I’m working on a new one-item-at-a-time list including strategies to make sure I don’t backslide too far.  Yes, the lapsed items from 1996 are going on there, but that’s not the whole list.  I remember writing a lot about weight loss in my journal during 1997-1998, so I want to glean that for ideas.  (I get through a month or so of entries every day during Eli’s nap.)  I’ve also read some great books lately that are giving me ideas. 

It isn’t just making a list of health changes.  It’s also the order.  This time I want to put some of the changes that will affect my weight towards the top and work on them first.  I’ve lost a few pounds since starting the Persistent Elephant project, but I need a taste of success to spur me on.  In particular, writing my “health autobiography” and reading old journals made me realize what a key role stress plays in my weight and health efforts.  I’m going to target some stress management habits to put at the top of my list.

Getting organized is the first order of business.  But I wanted to work on a good habit or two while I’m still in the Grand Planning Stage.  In July, I worked on getting back into a regular exercise habit.  My walking had definitely increased, much to my joy.  As far as eating goes, I know that sweet things are often my trigger, so throughout August my goal is to kick the artificial sweetener habit (going down to just once a week or so) and then to wean myself off sugar for a while.  More on that later, but I know some readers are following along on a parallel path, so this post lets you know how the project is unfolding.  Stay tuned.

What about you?  What are you doing to get organized or stay organized for being healthy?  

The 1996 Get-Healthy List

Straight from my journal (Volume 16, Feb. 1996 to June 1997), below is a list of twenty-eight one-at-a-time changes I made in one year to get healthy.  (I mentioned this list earlier in the post "Slow Start.")  I’d read it takes about three weeks to solidify a new habit, so that’s about how often I tackled adding a new one.  I’d look down the list and pick something that sounded good at the time, but I no longer remember the order of the changes I made.  (Therefore I organized the list into four groups when I typed it up for this blog.)  Some items directly affected my weight while some did not, but all added to the conviction that I was improving my health and wellbeing.  By making these changes, I was 30 pounds lighter without dieting at the end of twelve months.

General:

--Started getting ready for bed at 9:30 PM (setting an alarm to remind me that my evening is drawing to a close) and getting in bed by 10:30.

--Started reading reputable health magazines (3-5 per month) and health books (1 per month) to learn more but also keep my enthusiasm up

Food:

--Started drinking 9 glasses of water per day

--Bought electric steamer and wok to help cook healthy foods

--Ate more fruit

--Ate more vegetables (up to 5-9 servings fruit/veg per day)

-- Switched to whole wheat bread

--Switched from white rice to brown

--Switched from regular pasta to whole wheat

--Added more soy to diet (tofu, soy milk, etc.)  [Note…there are now some issues about women eating too much soy, so I would go more carefully with this one now.]

--Added more calcium to diet (dairy, greens) and started taking a calcium supplement

--Reduced artificial sweeteners to 1 to 3 Diet Cokes per month

--Added more fiber to my diet (around 10 grams in cereal each morning plus more whole foods in diet)

--Stopped adding salt to food, stopped using vegetable broth with high sodium and chemicals, switched to light soy sauce

--Stopped eating most sugary foods, eating them rarely and trying to eat them only after eating whole foods (fiber, protein, and fat to slow the rate at which the sugar is absorbed)

Activity:

--Started walking more with friends

--Started walking 1 mile a day, then increased it to 1.5, then finally to 4 miles

--Started hiking on weekends more often

--Began stretching before and after walks/hikes

--Began 40 minutes of strength training twice per week

Body Care:

--Started taking a multivitamin

--Began wearing sunscreen daily

--Began flossing teeth consistently

--Began using moisturizer on skin

--Bought good equipment…quality weights and walking shoes (replaced shoes after 500 miles of walking or about 6 months)

--Started using night cream on my face and hands

--Bought UV protection sunglasses

--Started using rubber gloves with detergents and cleaners

Health Autobiography

To get where I want to go, first I have to know where I've been...

I first gained weight in the fourth grade (a stressful year for me) and, with the help of my mother, went on my first diet in the fifth grade.  It was a healthy diet produced by our local hospital’s education program and it resulted in some positive changes for our whole family, yet what I remember most about it is the feeling that some foods were forbidden and therefore exciting.  Throughout adolescence, I bumped up against the edge of being chubby and daydreamed a lot about being thinner, but I was able to swap clothes with my friends and felt pretty when I dressed up, so it wasn’t a huge issue.  Jaw surgery at age fifteen gave me a taste of what it was like to be on the lower end of the healthy weight range for my size, but once the wiring came off my teeth, I slowly rose back to my old weight. 

In college, living away from home for the first time, I did gain the Freshman Fifteen, but lost it soon after through exercise and re-learning how to diet.  That was both good and bad.  I went through phases at a lower weight accomplished partially by exercise, yet I also went through weeks of staving off hunger with pickles, air popped popcorn, diet shakes, and no-calorie soda.  I began thinking too much about what I should and shouldn’t eat, creating a larger pattern of virtuous hunger and relieved overeating.

Throughout my college years, my father battled cancer.  My “thick” times pretty much coincided with each time the cancer we hoped was beaten surprised us by coming back yet again.  When the stress eased up, I’d lose weight again.  After four years of this, Dad died at home under hospice care with my mother and I taking care of him.  My weight zoomed up during that time, but I quickly lost it again by exercise and dieting a few months later.  Soon, however, my mother also got sick and died under hospice care.  This time I was so shell shocked from two parents dying in two years that my weight just kept climbing.  It is strange to say, but I hardly noticed it was happening.  By the time I had the courage to step on a scale a couple of years later, I was in the lower regions of obese.  (Sigh.  Such a painful word to even write.) 

After a pause of three years, I began to turn things around.  I lost thirty pounds.  Following a move to Tennessee for graduate school, I then lost thirty more.  The exciting thing was that I exercised but also ate well to accomplish this.  It involved no weigh-ins, group meetings, formal diet plans, or food journals.  Also, I maintained the loss fairly well for almost half a decade.  Many of the healthy habits I developed stuck with me even longer.  (In fact, without them I think I’d be an awful lot bigger right now!)

Little by little, however, some of the weight crept back – vacations, holidays, periods of stress.  I started dieting to get the weight off again, wanting it to be gone quickly.  Each time I moved jobs/homes (four times), my healthiest days seemed that much more far away.  I slowly slid into a decade of yo-yoing – never near that top weight again but not very close to the bottom either.  Then came a happy but definitely stressful year-long mix of engagement, wedding, sale of my home, career change and first book deal, move to a small town, husband’s deployment, pregnancy, cross-country move, book deadline, and childbirth.  Whew!  Ever heard of the “exploding bride syndrome,” women relieved to have true love and glad to be done with skimping to fit into a wedding dress?  That was me.  I definitely found it hard when my new husband deployed the month after the wedding.  I rattled around for those months trying to settle into a place where I didn’t know anyone, that had a lot fewer resources than any place I’d ever lived, and that wasn’t going to even be home for more than a few months.  I kept busy all day, yet the evenings seemed awfully long as I tried not to wander through the kitchen yet again just to have something to do.  A lot of my clothes were already tighter when he returned and then I immediately got pregnant. 

Thankfully, I ate quite well when pregnant – no fast food, no artificial anything, avoided all the pregnancy no-no foods.  My doctor was pleased with my weight gain and I actually gained less than average.  But once my manuscript was at the press and my son finally arrived, I stopped even thinking about what I ate.  I assumed I’d just naturally lose the extra pounds.  I wasn’t sitting around eating tubs of ice cream, so how bad could it be?  But the breastfeeding hormones made me ravenous even though I was producing very little milk.  I was exhausted all the time and, because my husband worked all day and needed to be rested for that, I spent all but my evenings alone with my newborn.  When I stepped on the scale about four months later, I was stunned to realize I’d rocketed up.  In fact, I went right back up to the highest weight I’d been after my parents died.  I immediately started eating better and talking my son on walks, which dropped about fifteen pounds.  Then my weight stabilized.  In the last couple of years, I’ve yo-yoed a little, but not much.  I’ve courted Weight Watchers online a time or two.  Twice I ate low-carb for about six weeks and lost about ten pounds, but it immediately returned when I got off the diet.

Now my son is on the downward slope of age two and I find not just myself, but our whole family nearing a crossroads.  Three-morning-a-week preschool starts for my son in a couple of weeks, which suddenly gives me more time to myself again but also begins an era where my child will have more and more influence from the outside world.  My little guy is starting to be more aware of foods and definitely notices the difference between birthday cake and carrots.  He’s also not one of those hyper string bean kids, so I’m ever-aware that we have to teach him not to be a couch potato.  As he grows, I’m feeling increasingly more pressure to be a good example for him.  A year from now we’re moving back home to Georgia and I realize part of me feels conflicted because I don’t feel my external self reflects who I really am and I’ll be running into a lot of people who used to know me when I was thinner.  My military husband will soon retire and be free from the annual physical fitness tests that have encouraged him to keep his weight low; as the cook of the family, I’m feeling an increasing responsibility for what appears on the table, what foods are available for snacking, and how often we eat out. 

I’m ready to have my healthy life back.  I’ve tasted how good it can be and I know it is worth the changes and sacrifices.  It will mean building up the muscle mass I’ve lost over the years to yo-yo diets.  It will mean getting organized so eating well and exercising isn’t any more complicated than it has to be.  It will mean sorting out what works and doesn’t work for me and my family so I’m not spinning my wheels mindlessly following advice.  And it will be learning to be mindful, being aware of my own patterns, respecting the mind/body connection, and striving for a livable state of balance.

What about you?  What has your health journey been like thus far?

A's Story -- Running Mamas

Hi

I'm not posting much, but it is because I'm busy reading!  I realized that probably one of my best resources is my journal.  I write often, so I know I saved a lot of thoughts and ideas that helped me lose weight so well in the late 1990s.  Sure enough, I'm finding a treasure trail of nuggets to help me find my way back.  I'll share, so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I wanted to share an email from my friend A, a working mom with three kids (including a toddler).  I saw her at Christmas and she looked stunning -- happy and glowing and healthy, so I sent her a message about the Persistent Elephant project to get her two cents.  She kindly agreed to let me post her message:

Hey lady - just got around to checking out your blog. SOOO excited for you. Particularly with the specific reference to marathon running mamas, I felt like I should reply. So there are a couple things that I felt were critical to my success on the "quest to be a healthy mama". One was the solidarity I have found with my running group. They are right in my neighborhood, and we run 4-5 mornings a week - all mamas. So, in order to get in our run before the kids and hubbies get up, we meet at 5:30am. Its hard to get up that early - sometimes quite painful, in fact, but I know they're out there waiting for me, and I know how much I treasure our conversations on the run. The accountability I feel to them, has been they key to being consistent (and competitive) with running. 

Not sure if running is something you plan to try out, but there is a great book and facebook page called Run Like A Mother. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Run-Like-a-Mother-The-Book/317268647037

These women are hilarious and totally inspire me to keep running. 

Anyway, the second thing I find to be invaluable for motivation is similar to what you listed as your own motivation. I love it that E [her daughter] can see me run, race, win and feel good about it. She now has become a runner, and I know that she is growing up in a househild that values health and exercise, but also healthy competition. So I know that she will consider, not just exercise, but HARD, COMPETITIVE exercise, a regular and normal part of her life. And this gives her an edge in life. R and G [her sons] as well, but they are still at the stage when they cry when they know I"m going for a run, as it means I won't be back for a while.... :)

The third thing is to allow myself to have the vision of myself the way I want to look and feel. So I look at magazines of athletic women and put them on my bulletin board (kind of high school, but effective). I give myself permission to be skinny. Its hard to do this, because each time I have gotten thin in the past, I have somehow sabotaged my success, because of some underlying notion that I'm not supposed to be skinny, that I'm not a skinny person..... I've been using mantras like, " I LOVE being so thin and healthy!" Every time I wake up, and throughout my workouts I chant them in my head.

And let's see, last thing I found very helpful was a book called Skinny Bitch. http://www.skinnybitch.net/  Compelling book about health, not only for health's sake, but for the sake of our earth and our moral integrity.

So, I hope this helps. I just started incorporating strength training into my life again, to supplement the running. Been fun to have biceps again. And there is nothing like the feeling of my husband calling me a "MILF", as crass it is is..... :)

Looking very forward to keeping up with your blog.  Hope everything else is going well for you, and I'm excited about your return to Atlanta next year.

Much luck and love,

--A

A, thank you so much for sharing and your encouragement! 

Weigh-In Ambivalence, Response #2

A friend kindly sent me her thoughts and story, and she gave me permission to share it.  Thanks, AM!  Part of her experience included a traumatic head injury and hepatitis contracted from blood transfusions.

"Some of this is background, probably a repeated story for you; bear with me.  When I moved to Atlanta, and all the years between my accident until that time, there were vague periods when I'd try to get "healthy" by exercising, ignoring the eating part.  Truth be told, I truly didn't understand very much about eating healthy; not that I'm an expert now, but I have a few more clues.  Those exercise times would mean that I started walking, MIGHT do 15-20 minutes once or twice a week, and when there were no results after a week or two, or something else came up to throw me off, I'd give it up.  


"In 2002, I got on the hepatitis meds. which, in a nutshell, caused me to lose about 55 pounds.  I was not exercising at all then, and my daily calories were about 500 on the good days; bad days were obviously worse.  Plus my metabolism was cranked up, which was a definite plus.  Besides eating so little, I got sick very often, and I determined that if I could only eat a small amount, I needed to eat healthy, balanced food.  I went to my first dietitian, and she was awesome.  She told me about veggies and fruit, drinking water, whole grains, and all the other stuff dietitians know about.  

"When I got off the meds at the end of 2002, my doctor told me that all his other patients gained their weight back "instantaneously"; I told myself "not me"!  And I began to walk a little, which led to my first five consecutive minutes of running on Feb. 1, 2003.  Fast forward on the exercise part:  I ran several times a week, Saturday long runs usually with my mom.  I ran by time, not distance, although sometimes I knew both.  Now I go by time.    Beginning on Jan. 2, 2009 injuries struck.     I've tried to build up to running,  building up V E R Y slowly, but every time I try, injuries hit again.  [On a side note, other than my counselor and doctors, you are the only person who knows I've even tried to run again : ) ]   I began walking with running in the summer of 2007, I think, and as I think you know, it took over.  Originally I walked to supplement running, then it became my only thing.  Now I think I do it as much for the mental health as the physical.  Sometimes I can walk quick and get my heart rate up, other times I'm slow, pondering things.

"On the food side.  I tried WW meetings.  I got the points card, the exercise card, both of which I still use a lot, and a few other info. things.  I didn't like the weigh-ins at all, and the meetings were atrocious... instead of going to a meeting, I could be out walking!!!!  I gave up the meetings after 4-5.  Even though I hated the meetings, I liked most of the general ideas of WW.  In fact, to this day, I still keep a food journal of sorts.  I include the day, date, what I eat, drink, the amount of each as best I know it, and what I did for exercise that day, including the amount of time for each "episode".  At the bottom of the page, I list each day with its calories and points eaten, points earned through exercise, and the final tally for that day.  Also at the very bottom of the page is my weight:  I try to weigh every Saturday morning before eating or anything other than using the bathroom, I write that done and include any comments or thoughts re. it:  why it may be up or down (water loss from sweating the day before, good or bad bathroom elimination stuff, etc.), and maybe a thought on how I feel about it.  At the very top of the page are comments from particular days about especially good or bad things I did, why I did them, and how I felt before, during, and after.  It is laborious and takes a bit of time to fill things in potentially several times a day, but it is so worth it to look back over the last few days, weeks, months, or even years to see what I weighed at a given point, and what I was doing, thinking around that time:  what was working or not.  I used notebooks at first, but the last few years I've started using binders with loose-leaf paper; generally a notebook or binder lasts about two years, and I have several of them.

"My eating, like my exercise, has evolved.  What I try to do these days is eat healthy as much as I can until Saturdays:  then I eat horribly if I want to:  I eat whatever I want, in whatever quantity, but I still write it down and do my best to estimate calories and points.  In fact, that's the day I allow myself oatmeal cream pies, which I love.  And true to confessing, the last few weeks I've even been eating about three of them in one day!  Again, you're the only one who knows this.... : )

"I think you're doing great to have things organized and lined up, that's essential for me also.  I can't buy a lot of things because if they are in the house, I'll eat them.  Usually T [her husband] can have things that I shouldn't, but I tell him to keep them on a shelf I can't see or reach easily so I won't be tempted.  But I've had periods where I struggled to stay out of his cereal....  Usually I can tell my self that something "belongs" to T, so I can't have any of it; most of the time that works.  Having a little one makes your journey harder, and certainly being married and fixing regular (supper) meals would also make things tougher.  T and I have different schedules:  we usually only eat together on the weekends, although we make that effort.  Sometimes we don't even eat the same things, even if we are eating at the same time.  It's what we're comfortable with, and it's easier for us to do that since we don't have someone younger than us needing more structure."
--AM

Weigh-In Ambivalence, Response #1

I heard from several people about this post both in blog comments and emails.  Thanks so much!  My friend M said I could share her response.  (I divided her email into sections for the blog.)


"First of all, it WILL be easier for you to exercise and get your mind together while E is at preschool.   We all need personal time to re-center ourselves.  


"And, honey, ambivalent is my middle name when it comes to weight loss plans.  I decided last week that I do NOT want to follow W.W. rigidly either.  They allow way too much fruit for my sugar sensitive body.  In addition,  I do not care if I ever reach their goal weight.  What I really want to do is learn how to eat and nourish myself in a normal, healthy way.  I want to learn how to really taste and savor the foods I choose to eat.  


"Years ago, my internist told me that exercising is way more important than dieting.  I am convinced that when I seriously get back on track with exercising, I will have won more than half the battle.  I am exactly where you are at this moment with all of this - trying to decide what my plan will be.  This is what I have learned over the years.  THERE IS NO PERFECT PLAN.  And, whatever plan we choose, we are going to have to modify and change it according to our daily needs and activities.  


"So what this really comes down to is this:  Each one of us possesses the internal power to do this for ourselves.  You've done it for yourself and so have I.  We both know it's not easy.  I'm going to attempt this again by reminding myself minute by minute to stay fully conscious about what I'm putting into my mouth.  The tool I am going to use is journaling.  I will write down my feelings surrounding my food choices - minute by minute if I have to.  I need to learn to recognize why I'm overeating.  This is going to be a ton of work but I truly believe it's the best way for me to get a handle on this thing.  My plan will consist of exercising, staying conscious, making better food choices and journaling.  I'm tired of turning my life over to other people, organizations, etc. to solve this problem for me.  It's time for me to take responsibility for what I am doing to myself.  I also believe that it helps to have a forum to discuss these actions and decisions with others who understand the nature of this very frustrating beast.  What do you think?"
  --M