Fresh Start in June (New Elliptical!)

Dadgum it.  I didn't lose a thing in May.

I stopped keeping track of what I ate, which was my first bad decision.  I also didn't handle some of last month's speed bumps as well as I could have.  There were quite a few food temptations such as the end of Eli's school year (evening pot luck, morning ice cream social, mother's teatime), Mother's Day weekend, and Memorial Day weekend trip to the beach.  I'm pleased that I maintained during a chaotic month.  I often made the best choices I could and in between events I would fall back into eating healthy.  Still, my choices didn't allow me to make headway.

The great news is that I've continued exercising.  I'm still doing an hour of exercise almost every day.  After eight weeks of this, I noticing a big difference in how I feel.  Running errands in the heat doesn't suck the life out of me.  I'm sleeping much better.  And I truly do have a lot more energy.  I noticed that last point yesterday when Eli and I got in a huge water fight.  Chasing and being pursued by a four year-old up the slope of our driveway over and over again wasn't a problem.  Not only did I have enough wind and muscle power, but I also felt like keeping the fun going for quite a while.

One thing that is helping is our new elliptical machine.  Technically, it is just new to us.  I found one a couple of years old, so that saved us several hundreds of dollars.  It will fit much better in our new house, but right now it is jammed into our dining room.  With all the moving craziness this summer, we weren't going to do any more dinner parties in this house anyway.

I absolutely love the elliptical.  It was always my machine of choice when I used the gym.  It is easy on the joints, plus it lets you use both arms and legs.  Having one in my own house is simply amazing, especially now that Eli is out of school.  I turn on the television to a recorded episode of Chopped and keep moving until it is over.  (I needed a show that was safe for Eli to watch including commercials not targeted to him.)  It is such a relief to know I can still exercise no matter what the weather or our childcare circumstances.  On the weekends, I still get a chance to walk in some of the shady neighborhoods I mapped out earlier this month.

Full steam ahead!  I plan to have weight loss to report for June even if we are starting our move this month.

Hanging In There!

I wobbled a little on Mother's Day weekend.  For the first time in about seven weeks I found myself eating too fast and past being full.  I didn't like it.  I was grateful to find it wasn't comfortable anymore.  The scary thing is that I'm pretty sure the two Sonic diet limeaids my sweet husband bought me that weekend triggered sugar cravings.  I called a halt to any more diet sodas and got back on track.  For the month of May, I am two pounds down for a total loss of 11.5 pounds.

Onward and upward!

It's Natural

My parents died when I was in my early twenties.  Both died under hospice care and I helped take care of them so they could die at home.  Thanks to those experiences, I quickly became a huge believer in hospice and later volunteered at a hospice house.  To become a hospice volunteer, you have to go through several weeks of training.  One of the things I learned is that the patients and families who see death -- even premature death -- as a natural thing do much better than those who cling to a sense of death as "unfair."

The other day I was thinking that there's a parallel here to weigh management.  Yeah, I know.  Sounds weird.  But through my twenties and thirties, I felt like most of the world could eat what they want but my body unfairly gained weight too easily.  I had proof, as a matter of fact.  My brother -- the person who dipped out of the same gene pool and had the same upbringing I did -- can eat Pop-Tarts and whole packages of Oreos yet has always been quite thin.  Then one day my brother casually mentioned he was off sugar.  "Whenever my pants get tight, I just go without sugar for a while."  And I realized I sort of forgot about the fact that he does Tae Kwon Do several times a week to work up a good sweat.  Not long after that, a friend who was always thin shared that in order to maintain a healthy weight she eats carefully all week and then allows herself an indulgent yet not over-the-top meal once or twice on the weekend.  Huh.

Sure there are those folks (especially south of age 30) who truly can eat whatever they want.  Some people are born super smart or drop-dead gorgeous too.  For the most part, though, thin people stay thin through their choices and their behavior -- not just their genes.  And while we're looking at genes, it is a huge advantage that I don't lose weight too quickly.  I know if I get sick, my body will protect me.

And in other happy news...  I lost 9 pounds in April and am still chugging along heading into the second week of May.

Keep On Keepin' On...

So.  Since April 2, I have lost 7.5 pounds.  There's no way I could continue at that rate.  That much weight loss in a short time is the first flush of a changing metabolism, fluid loss since I'm now not eating as much salt, etc.  But it is enough that I am sure I am heading in the right direction.  What amazes me is that I had slip-ups both weekends.  Each time, I wandered slightly off track and then quietly pulled back on.  There was no binging, no self-flogging, no sinking heart.  I just knew that this momentum was too good to lose.

My hubby brought home a Diet Dr. Pepper for me as a treat.  It sat in the fridge for a while and then I drank it on a sleep deprived day.  It tasted okay.  I liked it.  But it didn't seem worth the potential price of slipping back into the sugar cycle.  I've stuck to the occasional Life Water and unsweetened tea ever since.

I'm back on the walking track -- about 4 miles per day and it takes me 70 minutes because of the hills.

I'm drinking a lot more water.

I think, though, that what has truly made the difference is finally listening to my own body.  Whenever I start to feel full, I stop eating -- no matter how good it tastes, no matter that it is homemade, no matter how much I paid for it.  The idea that continuing to eat when you are full is disrespectful to yourself has not left me, and it keeps me going.

On Track

I've been on a healthy track for a week now, which feels absolutely wonderful.  There's such a peace in knowing that if you keep living your life the way you're living it right now, you'll have no regrets.

I did wobble this weekend.  My husband was out of town and I was solo parenting.  I had no way to get exercise since my son is too big for a stroller yet not old enough to ride a bike next to me as I walk.  We were on the go (supporting family by attending my niece's horse show) and away from my weekday routine, and unfortunately I let that be an excuse not to keep track of what I ate.  Sunday my husband came home and my brother mowed our big lawn for us, so I made chocolate chip cookies for the guys.  I planned to eat a spoon of dough and one cookie but it ended up eating more.  Once I'd already "blown my diet," pizza seemed so much easier for dinner.

The thing is, though, that I got right back on track.  For several years now I'd rally to do well for a few days but then it all fell apart.  What is different now?  Why was I able to get back on track?

1.  Mainly, I think it is because I broke the sugar cycle before I started actively trying to lose weight.  Even though I "cheated" with cookies, my body is already used to less sugar and I didn't feel triggered.

2.  I also think it helped that I planned a date to start losing weight over a week in advance.  I had time to mull and plan as well as get the sweeteners out of my system.

3.  Since joining TOPS, I know I have accountability and folks to cheer me on.

4.  When I ate more on the weekend, I didn't completely lose track of mindfulness.  I took my son to get Asian noodles for supper, which I adore.  But as soon as I felt full, I pushed the bowl away.  I'll be honest -- usually I'll finish off a serving of anything I love even if I feel too full.  I had sort of a breakthrough with that last week.  On one of my walks I thought a lot about overeating and realized that in some ways it is simply disrespectful to your own body.  If I stop and "listen," the cues are there when I don't need or want any more.  Listening to those cues is not only smart, it is also respectful and kind to myself.

Off I go to do my morning speedwalk...

Back to TOPS

Today is my 10th day without sugar or artificial sweeteners.  I've been amazed how easy it has been for this self-confessed sugar hound!  It is definitely my worst trigger for eating poorly.  Yet although I've given up sugar before, I never tried giving up the artificial stuff at the same time.  I've been consuming diet sodas, artificially-sweetened yogurt, and the like for years.  Now I realize those fake sweeteners have probably long been giving me cravings.  It feels like a breakthrough!

I looked back on my goals for April and decided I want to alter them.  Although years ago I lost the 60 pounds I gained after my parents died all by myself, I think right now I need more support.  Being a stay-at-home mom and writer can be lonely sometimes.  In February I looked into starting a new daytime chapter of TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) so I could attend weekly weigh-ins and meetings in the morning, but it was an uphill battle.  I found support from the local TOPS coordinator, but washed out on finding a meeting place.  I realized, too, that while we are house-hunting and moving (locally) in the next few months, I would like more support but with less of a leadership role.  I tried out a local evening TOPS chapter and was quite pleased.  I had't had luck finding a good TOPS chapter after I married, but this one is large and vibrant.  I joined last night.

As of today, I am back to tracking my food and exercise with SparkPeople online.  I know from when I lost all the weight before that months' worth of healthy eating puts me in a place where I feel "take it or leave it" about sugar.  Until I've been on a healthy track long enough for that to happen, I'm just going to steer clear of sugar and fake sweeteners.    I'd thought that a sugary treat now and then would help me feel a diet wasn't so severe, but I think now that this strategy doesn't work when my body is getting used to changes.

I'll keep you posted...

April Changes

I did wonderfully for about a week and then decided to switch from no sugar to counting calories.  All my efforts unraveled quickly.  It felt too spartan, too joyless.  And it was too soon to add back the sugar.  I couldn't stay away from its siren call!  (When those sugar calories added up too quickly, that's what made it seem so harsh.)

For the month of April, I am going to concentrate on staying away from sugar and cut back on some other foods that my body responds to as though they were sugar.  I am also working on getting back in the exercise swing.  Although I know the scale probably won't register my April efforts, it will be worth it in the end.  Making just a few healthy changes at a time is how I lost 60 pounds and kept it off for many years.

My goals are to...

1.  Go one month without knowingly choosing to eat/drink sugar and to cut way back on white rice, white bread, and other foods made of over-processed grains.  Knowing how my current life is, I want to be reasonable about some of my go-to foods for busy days.  I'm giving myself a hall pass for Fiber One bars, low-sugar jelly for peanut butter sandwiches (on whole grain flatbread), regularly-sweetened yogurt, and the occasional 100 calorie-size bar of dark chocolate.  These foods have fiber/protein to slow down sugar absorption anyway and keep my life changes from being too stressful to maintain.

2.  To go one month without knowingly using any fake sweeteners. 

3.  To approach exercise as a daily task.  Each day I need to fit exercise into my schedule in some form, adjusting it to what my body needs.  If my body needs a break, then just walking to the mailbox or playing leisurely catch with my kid is fine.

Sugar Free

I'm going to try going sugar-free from now until Easter.  I've got to do something to get into a healthy upward spiral!  This quote is very inspiring to me right now:  “The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison” ~Ann Wigmore~

TOPS

I've been floundering, trying so hard to get back on a healthy track.  Motivation is key.  I used to attend a weekly group that supported such efforts -- TOPS or Take Off Pounds Sensibly.  It is a great alternative to Weight Watchers at only $28 per year.  Members can follow whatever plan they like yet still have support from others.  Now that we've moved, there isn't a TOPS chapter that meets at a time that works well for me.  I was disappointed but decided to take matters into my own hands.  I met with the TOPS region manager and she's helping me start a new chapter!  Please keep your fingers crossed that I can get this going.  It would help me but others too.

Fresh Year

The holidays are over.  My husband is getting into the groove with his new career.  My son's two-week break from school ended on Monday.  The last houseguest left yesterday.  This morning I made sure to eat a breakfast with enough fiber and protein, recording it on SparkPeople so I can keep better track of my efforts.  I just got back from a four-mile speedwalk.  My weight was up this morning; I hadn't weighed myself since early autumn and I did not get good news when I stepped on the scale today.  But I am never, never, never giving up.

My goal is to be healthy, exercising regularly.  As far as eating goes, I want to consume plenty of vegetables and fruits.  I am happiest on a mostly-vegetarian diet as long as I keep fiber, protein, and the glycemic index firmly in mind.  I don't want to absolutely exclude any food, but rather have treats in moderation and stick to foods I truly enjoy enough to feel they are worth the calories.  Once upon a time, I lived this life and I want very much to get back to it.


(And thanks for not giving up on me, AM!)